The holiday season isn’t easy when you’re far from home. For many people, the holiday season is a time of family, familiarity, and tradition. But if you’re an expat living in the Netherlands, the holidays may look—and feel—very different.
You might be navigating:
- Distance from family and friends
- Financial or time constraints that make travel impossible
- Cultural differences in how holidays are celebrated
- Missing traditions, foods, or rituals from home
- Pressure to feel “festive” when you feel lonely instead
And while the festive lights, Christmas markets, and gezelligheid around you can be beautiful, they can also amplify a sense of emotional distance.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. Many expats describe the holiday season as the hardest stretch of the year.
The good news? There are supportive, grounding ways to move through it with more ease.
Why the Holidays Feel Harder When You Live Abroad
Even if you love your life abroad, the holiday season often brings up a unique set of emotional challenges:
1. Traditions Feel Out of Reach
Holidays remind us of the rituals we grew up with—rituals that connect us to our identity and sense of belonging. When those rituals aren’t accessible, something can feel “missing.”
2. Nostalgia Intensifies
You may find yourself longing for small, specific things:
the smell of certain foods, the sound of familiar music, the way your family celebrates, or just the comfort of being around people who know you deeply.
3. Time Zones Create Emotional Distance
Trying to coordinate calls with family celebrations can make you feel more “outside” the moment.
4. Social Comparison Can Hit Hard
Seeing others celebrate with loved ones—both in person and online—can stir feelings of loneliness or inadequacy.
5. The Pressure to “Be Merry” Feels Heavy
You may feel like you should be happy, grateful, or festive. But emotional reality rarely follows the holiday schedule.
How to Cope With the Holiday Season as an Expat
You can’t change the distance—but you can support yourself through it with intention, gentleness, and small acts of care.
Here are meaningful ways to move through the holidays with more warmth and less weight:
1. Create a New Personal Ritual
Traditions don’t have to be inherited — they can be created.
Some ideas:
- A quiet morning walk on December 25th
- A special meal you cook just for yourself
- Writing a letter to your future self
- Lighting a candle for loved ones far away
New rituals can help anchor you when old ones aren’t available.
2. Celebrate on Your Own Terms
If the holiday season doesn’t feel joyful right now, that’s okay.
Permission to:
- keep things simple
- say no to events
- choose rest over celebration
- hold space for mixed emotions
You’re not failing at the holidays—you’re honoring your needs.
3. Connect With Other Expats or International Friends
Others around you may be feeling the same loneliness, nostalgia, or emotional heaviness.
Consider hosting or joining:
- a small dinner
- a movie night
- a holiday craft or baking session
- a “found family” gathering
Shared warmth can ease the ache of missing home.
4. Bring a Piece of Home to You
A few familiar elements can make the season feel less foreign.
Try:
- cooking a meal from home
- playing holiday music from your culture
- watching childhood holiday movies
- decorating your place with something symbolic
Small comforts can reconnect you with yourself.
5. Create Intentional Connection With Loved Ones Back Home
Instead of trying to “catch” people during the chaos, set up a planned moment of closeness:
- a scheduled video call
- sharing holiday photos
- exchanging voice notes
- opening a small gift together remotely
Focused connection often feels more meaningful than quick check-ins.
6. Make Space for Your Emotions
Homesickness is not a sign of weakness — it’s a sign of love.
Let yourself feel what you feel: sadness, frustration, gratitude, loneliness, or all of it at once.
Journaling, meditation, or therapy can help you process these emotions instead of carrying them alone.
7. Reach Out for Support When You Need It
The holiday season can activate old wounds, grief, or insecurities.
Talking with an English-speaking therapist who understands expat life can make this time feel lighter and more manageable.
Online therapy offers:
- a consistent emotional anchor
- tools for coping with loneliness or sadness
- validation of your unique experience
- support that fits your schedule, even during busy periods
You don’t have to navigate the holiday heaviness alone.
You Deserve Comfort, Even Far From Home
Being an expat during the holidays can stir up complicated emotions — longing, nostalgia, hope, grief, and connection all at once.
Remember: missing home doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate your life abroad.
It simply means you’re human, and you’re carrying many worlds within you.
With small rituals, intentional connection, and emotional support, the season can become gentler, easier, and even meaningful in new ways.
If you’re finding this time of year particularly heavy, Illuminate Psych offers online therapy for English-speaking expats in the Netherlands. Together, we can help you feel grounded again — even when holidays feel overwhelming.
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